I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
