Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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