So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
