READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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