He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
