she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
