my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
