I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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