He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
