I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How's work?
Spinning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
