I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
