I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize