do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
