OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
