A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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