Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.