Porn is love you can see.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.