Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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