The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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