If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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