i just had sex bonerless
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize