The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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