If i come over, it means nothing
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
