Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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