I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
