Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
