just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
