If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
