so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize