If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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