he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
