and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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