Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
