I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
