Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
