You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
