In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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