Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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