Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
