Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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