oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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