if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
