I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
