...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
