im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize