No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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