So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
