we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
