Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize