Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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