im about as happy as oj after his trial
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize