Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
