matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This baby is an asshole
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
