I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
