Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
