I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
