Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
