I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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