I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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