You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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