Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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