Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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