If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize