so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
