she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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