you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
