I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
