How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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