I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
