Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
