As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
